I have no problems. I'm on vacation from thinking about the future.
I made a pot roast. To do this I first made beef stock. When I eat a steak or pork chop I put the bone in a bag in the freezer. Over years the freezer becomes an ossuary. I bought a giant pot off Amazon. Dumped the bones into the pot with peeled onions, shallots, garlic. Thyme sage rosemary. Salt and pepper. Water to the top of the bones. I simmered it for 24 hours. Strained the results into Tupperware. It becomes gelid. I freeze the Tupperware.
I gathered more herbs. My neighbors' rosemary and sage. I googled the type of sage they have in their front yard to make sure it's not toxic. I chopped two large onions, four shallots, and eight cloves of garlic. I caramelized them for approximately 30 minutes in butter. I'd normally use vegetable oil. But Susannah is anti seed oils. I wanted to impress her with my pot roast.
Once I can call her “my girlfriend” I'll die. I've beat the game. I'll dissolve into gas and blow away.
When the onions were soft and brown I dredged a large chuck roast in flour in a shopping bag. Coating it thinly on all sides. I scraped the onions to one side of the pan and added more butter, which sizzled. I seared the beef on both sides for approximately five minutes. I moved the beef on top of the pile of onions. I added red wine to the pan. A small bottle, about two glasses. I turned the heat up high for 20 minutes to boil off the alcohol. I'm scared that eating food with wine will be an alcoholic relapse.
I dropped a frozen brick of beef stock into the violently bubbling wine. I added peeled potatoes and carrots. The fresh sprigs of herbs, and thyme from the store. Which you have to buy as a living plant. It has roots and a clump of dirt. I've planted it out back. It won't survive. Pepper, and rich people salt. I simmered on low heat for two hours. I served myself a portion. It was the best pot roast anyone has ever made.
Wanting the meat to be more tender, I simmered it for another hour. Which blackened the beef and stuck it to the bottom of the pan. The potatoes lost integrity. The dish turned into commingled gruel. I over edited the pot roast. I forced it.
Still, Susannah loved the pot roast.
Some people love you, and you're not gonna change their mind.
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