All right we gotta make content. What happened. I went to Las Vegas and Big Bear. With my non-girlfriend Susannah Garcia from San Bernardino. I used to bug out at not calling her my girlfriend. But it's OK now.
In Vegas I spoke at a black tie ball. One of these online things with Hestia cigarettes. Afterparty in a fine penthouse. Beautiful people dressed elegantly taking veterinary drugs. An influential philosopher puked what looked like a Teotihuacan pyramid of raw ground chuck into the sink. A monument of puke. Rock solid meat pink. No liquid. Freakish quantity and consistency of puke that should be impossible for a human body to create. That just sat in the sink. It smelled. Susannah went in the toilet to do ketamine with Stephen. I went back there to see what the fuck was taking her so long. Whenever she leaves I feel like she's bent over getting inseminated by huge black cock. Or she's been kidnapped and butchered. And if I'd shown up one minute earlier I could have saved her. I get the feeling she's getting fucked or killed like I get the feeling I left a stove burner on when I'm five miles out on the way to the airport. I'm a mentally ill maniac. My struggle is to conceal this from the world.
I went in there to see who was reaming her with 18 raw Hottentot inches. She was chatting pleasantly with Stephen. Him talking about everyone doing his drugs. And he only had one bag for the weekend. The hotel was old but once fancy. It had gold plated sink fixtures. But there was a smell. And I looked. And there it was. A six pound mound of solid puke. The influential philosopher. He was laying on the bed on his back with his girlfriend squirming around sexually and two twitter women on ecstasy. I looked to make sure his chest was moving. Nice man walking around in a suit insisting we read a book called Synagogue of Satan. A right wing party.
She was gonna stay up and go to clubs but she came to bed with me. God damn I love her so much. Her face. Laughing and smiling on the bed. Beautiful like a religious painting.
My love for her is gigantic. I almost say insane. But that's just because I have a reflex. If I feel something it must be bad. I wanted to date her whenever I saw her. For years. And it came true. And it's all right. And I think what if she leaves me. Since I feel so good now, I'm going to feel the same amount of bad, or worse, if she leaves. The deeper it goes the worse it will get.
I don't fucking care. Holding hands with her in the car driving thorough the green valley. The deep ravine with the tall grass and the chaparral bushes in tiny white flowers. On the way back from skiing. Where she floated gracefully over the mountain. While I fell down again and again crushing my thumb on the blades of the skis. Banging my ass on the pitiless ice. She'd glide by like a fairy saying come on you can do it.
I built a fire in the cabin. We watched a video about seed oils. A right wing party. She made hamburgers. If I lose her today I had it.
Las Vegas is horrifying and should be annihilated. We had to meet some girls for brunch. To get to another hotel 15 feet away you have to pull your car out of $40 valet parking. Make 3 U turns across 8 lane roads crossed by 10,000 pedestrians. Valet park again for $50. And the signs are all wrong. And the hallways don't move at right angles. Giant hamster maze where you're inside a female mind with no cardinal directions, mesmerized by lights and magic crystals.
We went shopping at the Vegas Antique Mall. A big flea market with old coins and racist statues. I bought a sign that says The Happy Fisherman. A man is fishing. Wading waist deep in the water. And a fish is sucking his dick.
That's how I feel. I expected nothing. It's nice enough to be out in the lake. Just to have the day off. Then out of nowhere a bass is blowing me. I can't believe it. And I'm cumming. I'm cumming.
Sometimes I think you’re Dutch
Vegas is great IF you really, really like:
Gambling
Drinking
Strip Clubs
Golf
Great weather in the dead of winter.
Then, it’s great.
If not, it’s a 24/7 assault of looming terror.
I’m a big fan.