Into the Crypt

From Savage Spear of the Unicorn

Have to go into the fucking office. Weekend ruined. Won’t write the next chapter of Finally, Some Good News. Dreams in flame. Death, run over by a car, shattered pelvis, squirrels gnaw my scrotum, etc.

What’s more I wasted all morning reading /biz. Watching graphs fluctuate on Coinbase with my puny investment in imaginary money you can’t withdraw. It’s a Chinese finger trap. When you pay in, the system sucks it up eagerly. When you transfer out– a long dark lacuna while the price of what you want whips around wildly. Never in your favor. When your coin is lowest and theirs highest, it goes through. Plus a fee. Don’t you see, cryptocurrency eliminates the middleman.

Maybe it’s not true. Maybe the price is locked in when you click send, who knows. But it feels like it’s true, so it is. I’m still up. My Bitcoins, Ether and Litecoins plus my Chainlinks summed together equal whatever I put in, plus the fees that were sucked out, plus ten dollars. And I’m worried about it. Meanwhile buying a plane ticket late for Christmas cost me $200. My 33% rent increase sucks thousands out of me into my hideous landlady and her “silent partners.” Now she wants money for the sliding door that Angela broke. She insisted on replacing with a better unit. Full frame and both panels. Really it’s a magnificent piece of work; this god damn closet door should be in a museum. She wants money for the whole thing, and now, not out of my deposit. I’m sure she can get it, legally. When’s the last time a law helped you. Or maybe not. But it feels like it, so it is.

I could pay $80 for a college girl to- not even to fuck me, to touch me off Seeking Arrangement. But I won’t do the emotional labor. Text and wait. Same pain in the ass as when you didn’t have to pay. Just now you do. I could pay for this tatted up bald Chinese vegan to come over but she’s too demanding. Second email was her Amazon wishlist. My despair is crypto for women. My rent crypto for “silent partners.” My time crypto for corporations. And so on. They have their own 4chan bragging about returns from chewing out my organs. Their own Coinbase auctioning futures on my pineal gland. Hidden exchanges where malformed reptile men place long bets on your slow death, and win.