I Will Drive You out to the Desert and I Will Bury You Alive

Guys who get rough with women are never alone. Women want to be beaten and choked. Men want to be held like a baby. This is something Isobel told me. She unlocked men when she learned they just want to be held.

Women who can be gentle with men are never alone.

Xochitl came over last night. She wants to do a podcast. I don't. When we try it sounds fake. But I love Xochitl and want to help her. I was watching James Bond in my pajamas.

She's 26. She's built like Plenty O'Toole in Diamonds Are Forever. On some level I want to fuck her. More than that I want to use her to go back in time. Tell my younger self don't work. Find your thing and do it. I want Xochitl to not make mistakes I made.

Don't go to a lame job every day from 14 to 47. 33 years, the entire life of Christ. Stay poor. Try to make it writing instead. Want her to know that people pushing her for job career money don't know how to make a life. It will never be enough. It will never be the right time.

I want her protected in pure love. I want to suck her tits.