I Hate February

My birthday, I’ll turn 50, who cares. I’m already mentally 50. Valentines day- actually not bad this year, I have a valentine. Maybe she’ll get mad at me and ruin the holiday but it’s better than nothing. 12 year sober anniversary. OK. Go take a fuckin cake, serve other alcoholics- I’m sick of it but it’s what you gotta do. I hate Alcoholics Anonymous, I hate going to the meetings instead of doing absolutely anything else, but if I don’t go I start wanting to kill people. I won’t drink but I might be the next Luigi.

Anniversary of my father’s death. Anniversary of my cat’s death. Birthday of my ex fiancee and one time best friend who died young. Every bad day’s in February. Every day’s a bad day because I’m working hard. Trying to get the bag. Trying to not be in the permanent underclass. At 50. People who sell courses on how to make money should be [REDACTED] but they’re right. Making the worst business you can imagine is the only shot at not working. Not working’s the only shot at being happy. The problem is all these scumbags who should be [REDACTED], and if I don’t go to AA I’ll be the one to do it, whatever they know about making money they already did, and it’s a dry tit by the time they’re shilling the recurring revenue course to you, and if they [REDACTED] it would help the world, if they were publicly [REDACTED] to [REDACTED] on Bari Weiss’ CBS News I would tune in and it would be a ratings bonanza- and if Bari Weiss showed her hairy