She's upset I never spend the night with her. She starts to think it's her, that I don't want her. It's because she lives by a main thoroughfare. Loud cars wake me up in a rage.
Sometimes I'm out and I'll see an old couple with their autistic teenager. They'll be saying something like don't you want Cheetos? You like Cheetos. He looks like he has wolverine strength that could pop off any moment. He might swat them like a bear. Bite their ear off over some uncommunicated rule about the Cheetos. Flamin' Hot must be served on a day with an even number of letters. The penalty is death. The parents afraid, both of hurting him and being hurt.
My brother was a special ed teacher. He told me “retard strength” is real. Not because they're biomechanically different. But you and I, he explained, have an instinct for self preservation. When we're about to swing full force at something, torque a wide left hook like a chimpanzee, part of us thinks: what if we hit a wall. There are consequences to shattering sixteen bones on concrete. I'll feel pain. I'll be debilitated. They don't have this.
The autistic teens, never wispy and meek. Always brutes with wolverine strength.
They're wearing big gun range headphones. Airport runway worker headphones. I know how they feel. When I hear a loud noise it penetrates my bones. It feels like brain damage done by a police baton.
I'm a retarded autistic freak and as I get older it only gets worse.
She calls me to break up with me.
I ask if I can come over. She says yes.
No relationship can survive a single problem, I think. No relationship can survive living too far away. Too much traffic. No relationship can survive the 110 freeway. An age gap, one person goes to bed late the other early. One's sober one's not. No relationship can survive a vegetarian.
Blah blah blah I go over there and I see her and I love her.
I kiss her and smell her forehead and we fit perfectly together.
When I die give me a scuba tank with the smell of her forehead.
She thinks I don't want her.
There's a problem with men and women. Men get hard thinking about
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