Thank God I never got into meth, gay sex or World of Warcraft. I had a friend who fucked whores like me. Maybe worse. He ran out of pussy. Got into sucking 18 year old black boys' cocks. They alleged they were college students. One screen capped his texts to extort him. Send them to his family.
I'm glad I never did that.
Hinge used to give you a guy saying he's female. Not trans, a guy. Saying he's female to get swiped by “curious” straight guys. Gays have a fetish for this. They get excited sucking straight guys off. You could say it's self hatred. Internalized homophobia. But it's being a man. You want to pop a cherry.
You want someone to push back so you can win.
Straight guys are their girls. Reluctant and coy. Meanwhile real girls are mixing nightshade in sheep fat smearing it on their thighs to commune with the devil. Lost in ebooks getting gang raped by centaurs in executioner's masks.
I thought about sucking a cock. I can't get far in the thought experiment. Imagining the smell makes me sick.
The smell of a man's cock, taint and balls.
Smelling men's deodorant makes me sick. Try as I might I'm heterosexual.
**
I had a friend who lost a decade to World of Warcraft.
I lost a decade to my Hollywood career. Is that better or worse. I worked 12 hours a day 9 years. At the start the I had $10K. At the end -$10K.
If I hadn't listened to people. Hadn't chased a “cool” job like a chickenshit. God help me if I'd believed in myself. If I'd read a good book on the toilet. Typed 30 minutes a day and posted it.
I'd have caught the 2000's blog wave, or the Tucker Max wave, or some wave where I'd have had a book deal movie deal money fame women no job no awful worm chastising me and no tap dancing trying to make bad movies and TV shows. All people in Hollywood should be killed. I drive around, every billboard's for a show that looks like a fake show from a movie. Two stars no one gives a shit about and a dopey tagline. Beanie Feldstein and Ubukwe Jamikwa in LADIES on Hulu. They're Having a Breakdown!
If I hadn't taken ten years off. But then I learned how to “break a story.” Didn't I?
I learned to think “this scene has to go somewhere.” Where's this one going.
**
The birth rate's low because men have
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